Flying Solo

I finished my 'solo week' today. I'm ecstatic on the inside, but tired and ready for the weekend physically and emotionally. My first grade placement is very different from the third grade placement I had at the beginning of the year. My third grade solo week flew by and it hardly felt like a solo week. Third graders are so much more independent and I think that the class was overall an 'easier class'. The class I'm currently in is (according to my master teacher's 21 years of experience) the most difficult class ever. Incessant tattling, crying, squirming, oozing, and touching.... I feel as if I should get some sort of plaque or recognition for solo-ing in the first grade class this week. I guess that's called a teaching credential. I have 3 instructional weeks left until I'm an official teacher of California.

Belle rocks!

Belle is awesome. She has such an amazing personality. She's really smart. Her sense of humor is really coming out. Overall, she loves life. Jackson and I have realized that she has a natural taste for the finer things in life. For example, she loves tea and having tea parties. Most girls do, but Belle truly thrives on 'cheering cups' with us and sips her tea with her pinky finger up at all times. She loves pedicures and can say, "pedicures". At least every other day she exclaims, "Let's paint toes!" We have started making fresh orange juice (a trend that won't be able to continue at the rate Belle wants it to)and it's of course another one of Belle's new favorite activities. Sometimes, it's been a challenge to get Belle in the bath tub. I recently brought out a blow up pool toy and Belle now clamors to get into the bath. Her most recent love is lounging in the bath on her floatie and while the water from the faucet hits her toes. I love having a girl... I love being Belle's mom.

Good Stuff

Today was the first preview service for the church Jackson and I are helping launch. I had a great time and am excited to see what the future holds... what God is going to do.

Can't Wait

I've always been known for my over zealous anticipation (this is a nice way of saying my impatience). When I was young, I would bribe my sisters to tell me what presents they or my parents got for me. I was agonizing over when Belle would come three weeks before she was even due. Wouldn't you know she was born a week after her due date? Patience does not come easy for most, and it certainly is a struggle for me.

Right now, I just 'can't wait':
-For my hubby and I to be full-fledged teachers and have teaching positions

I know there will always be something that I just have to have or can't wait to have, so for now, I will choose to be happy with today. I get to sport a fellow teacher's school logo polo for the last day of 'Vote No on Drugs Week', teach math and language arts lessons to an awesome third grade class, and give sweet Belle a kiss and hug when she wakes up. Can't wait!

My Princess

Jackson and I are having a blast hanging out with Belle right now. We always have loved playing with her, but it's getting more fun with each passing day. Last night, Belle and I were playing after dinner (Jackson was still working). Belle said, "Mommy, I need my crown". I reminded her where she could find her fairly new Cinderella tiara and she quickly retrieved it. Then, I asked her if she wanted to wear her princess skirt (glittery, pink tutu- yes, she got one for her birthday). She ran to her closet to grab her skirt as if to say, "Is there even a question? Of course I'll be donning on my princess skirt." After she had her crown and skirt in place, she began to spin around in circles singing, "I--- am a princess! I-- am a princess!" My heart was bursting. I actually video taped her and I playing for about 20 minutes and snapped a few photos, two of which are on this post. I pray that Belle will always know she is a princess. She is certainly Daddy and Mommy's princess, but she is also God's princess and will one day make a very lucky prince very happy.

My Soul Revolution

I am currently in a family or small group at church and have been reading the book, Soul Revolution by John Burke, for the past couple of weeks. The book has a challenge that I have taken on. The challenge is that for 60 days every 60 minutes, you stop (with the reminder of an alarm via cell phone, timer, or watch) and think about God. The first week, I thought about God's character and His presence with me moment by moment. This past week, I have prayed for people in my group every hour, I've evaluated whether I was doing what God would want me to do the past hour, and have been more cognizant of being filled by God's Spirit. I started a mini-blog on soulrevolution.net although you have to be a member (free) to view the blog... here are the entries I've posted thus far:

Just Started Monday, October 13th 2008 (day 6/60)

I joined my small group and attended for the first time last week (Tuesday). Before going to group, I thought multiple times about just not going-ever. I hadn't read the whole 3 chapters I was supposed to read and I was tired and had so much to do. Needless to say, I have started the 60-60 experiment. I've forgotten a dozen times to reset my timer or my phone has been on silent, although for the most part... I'm in constant connection with God. It's amazing. I have only started and I feel like God is drawing me closer into His presence moment by moment. Sinful desires and selfish thoughts are dissipating. They are there, but less tempting and seemingly ugly. I feel as if a whole new me has just started.

Just Trust and Be Tuesday, October 14th 2008

Tonight at small group, Jennifer (our small group leader) asked us to close our eyes and focus on the 'here and now', as she read some verses. Then, she asked us to be still. 'Being still' has always been hard for me as I think it is hard for most everyone. During quiet time or prayer sessions, I start to think about all the things I need to do, should be doing, and then I think about how I shouldn't be thinking those things. It was different tonight. I really listened and I heard. I believe that God told me two specific things. (1) Stop planning- just trust. My family and close friends know (and even the people I don't know that well that have just started to work with me know) I am a planner. I love to be and stay organized, I like to be in control, and I always like to plan. The idea of trusting and just 'be-ing' is not new to me. However, tonight I really heard the Spirit telling me... just 'be'. That leads me to the second item. (2) Stop performing- just be.

My Desire Wednesday, October 15th 2008 (day 8/60)

What do I desire? I would like to say I desire God and Him alone. There have been few times where I can say that this has been an ultimate truth for me. I long for God, but I also long for love, acceptance, and success on my terms. These things can be in partnership and not necessarily conflict with devout connection to God, but when it comes down to it, I am sad to say that I desire God and _______. I was impacted by last week's reading. I completely relate to John Burke's desires of walking with God as long as things go along with his plans. I'm a doer, not a 'be-er'. I like control, not surrender. I want God and only God as long as x and y (my plans) are conveniently packaged into the whole deal. What do I desire today? I desire for God to change me every day. I long to say that there are few times I don't truly desire God versus few times that I desire Him alone. I believe that 60-60 is helping me find my true and real desire- God.

Thank God for Modern Medicine

Dad had a heart attack late Monday morning. Mom, Dad, and their Japanese international student went to Lake Tahoe for a long weekend get away. As dad was driving to Zephyr Cove, he told us that he was sweating, had horrible chest pain, and mom shared that he looked so pale he matched his current hospital gown (it's ivory/buttercup colored material). Not good.

At first, things seemed to be fine and the news was that dad was just getting some surface treatment (IVs, simple tests, etc.). I actually thought he was not feeling well due to the altitude and extra activity. Suddenly, we found out he had to stay overnight due to some positive tests (minor heart damage being one of the things that came up 'positive' on the tests). Tuesday morning, Jackson woke me up to tell me dad was moved from the hospital in Tahoe to Mercy General in Sac. We (me, Belle, Jax- Happy 28th birthday :-), and Shannon) drove up and arrived in Sacramento in time for lunch. As an aside, two of my nurse friends have confirmed that Mercy Gen is great for heart treatment and it was encouraging that they had a department dedicated to cardiology. Yesterday afternoon, dad had an angioplasty and one heart stent was put into his heart. I'm still waiting for a call to confirm that he gets to come home today. I know that God has been with dad and us all the way, and I truly thank God for modern medicine.

Also, here are the awesome (there's lots) things about my dad, Michael Cornelio.

- He is a self taught musician. It's amazing, really. He can play the piano and guitar really well, and has never had one formal lesson.
- He's the most dependable person ever. I have a fond and recent memory of my dad dropping everything to help videotape me delivering a lesson to a 4th grade class. After the lesson, he asked if I wanted to go to lunch with him. During our lunch, he received 5 phone calls and was talking about things I've never heard of (engineer stuff). He kept putting off these important calls to just have lunch with me.
- He is a wonderful dad.

- Lots of people (including me) think he has a funny sense of humor- sometimes embarrassing if your his daughter, but he's really funny

- He loves people.

- He gives sacrificially of his time, talents, and resources.

Teaching and Parenting

First off, I definitely want to teach 3rd grade now. I've been in my current teaching placement for 13 days as of this past Friday, and I LOVE it. Not just like, "Yea, kids are cool... teaching is great". More like, "I am enthralled by teaching and all it entails- I want to be the best teacher I can be" type deal. To date, I've received encouraging feedback such as "You have the teaching gene... You're a natural...You could teach your own class right now". I share this not to toot my horn, well maybe a little tooting is happening in this post, but I am trying to emphasize how much I love what I do and how I love being good at what I do. I am saddened that I only have 6 weeks (yes Jackson, 6.0 weeks) left with my third graders until my next placement.

Teaching makes me a better parent. Parenting, I believe, makes me a better teacher. Belle and I have been to the library about 5 times since I've started teaching because I actually have time to go to the library before the evening routine begins. She is semi-obsessed with the library and can identify the public building about a quarter mile away. Also, I have more energy to invest in and be consistent with my precious daughter. All in all, I love that what I do on a daily basis (as a teacher and a parent)and that is makes a positive difference and is fulfilling.

First Offical Lesson (for Student Teaching)

Today was my first formal observation. My supervisor came in and watched me deliver a math lesson about pictographs and other graphs to 21 3rd graders. It went well. I was initially nervous about the whole observation situation. When I started the lesson, it felt natural and I loved every minute of interacting with the students. I had some positive feedback and am excited to keep teaching. Every day I'm in the classroom, I'm more sure that I was meant to be a teacher.

I realized that I only have 7.4 weeks left with my master teacher and the class I'm in and I'm actually sad. I'll be happy to have a new learning experience of course (in my next 9 week student teaching placement), but I LOVE the kids in the class and the teaching skills I'm learning from my master teacher. Also, I love 3rd grade. I think I may want to teach 3rd grade now.

Student Teaching Starts!

I met my master teacher on Monday of this week. We started Staff Development Days yesterday. I am getting so excited to meet the third graders that will be walking through Mr. C's and my door (I'm even going to have a sign on the door that says, "Mrs. Perdue"- yes!) on September 3rd. Staff Development Days have been interesting. There's a lot I'm learning and excited about. There's also a bit of tedious tasks and discussions that seem pointless. All of the staff have been really welcoming and helpful, and my fears of being the outsider 'new-kid-on-the-block' are quickly dissipating. As I have been sitting in the meetings and trying to take everything in, I keep thinking to myself, "Why did I not do this four years ago!?!?". Well, it may have been something more like three or two and a half years ago, but still... I have really found something that I love, I'm really good at (well, will be eventually :-)), and will provide for my family. I am on information-overload, but one of the biggest things I've seen at these staff in-service days is the importance of parent involvement. My mom always helped in my classes and my parents were always advocates for my education. Not every kid has that. I of course can't give names or full details, but my heart broke when I saw that one student was absent for almost half of the entire school year last year. The notes indicated that the parents were not involved and did not take the child's education seriously. Parent involvement is key. I will be 110% involved in Belle's education. Moreover, I want to try to reach those parents and students that don't understand this crucial element or just don't care. I'm not fully sure how to do this... I have some ideas. I also realize that reaching each and every person is not realistic. I will make a difference in many people's lives.

The Cornelio Circle of Trust

I just love my family. I really do. We are far from perfect, but I feel so blessed to be in the family that I'm in. This post is dedicated to Dad and Shannon.

Last night, we had a birthday party for my dad at my parent's house. We had Karaoke, Texas Hold 'Em, and a lot of good food. It was a blast. I love the 'get-togethers' that happen at my parent's place because there's always awesome food, great people, and good music. As I was looking around at the people that came to the party I was reminded of how many people are woven into my parent's lives, and in turn, my life. My dad and I have not always seen eye to eye, and there's been a lot of misunderstandings between us throughout my childhood and adolescence. However, I am so happy to say that my dad and I now have a good relationship it is so fun to share friends and good times together. Happy Birthday Dad!

In other news, my sister Shannon and I have become a lot closer over the past two years. Shannon came to work at The Shed Shop in August 2006 right before I had Belle and we've had the chance to work together for almost two years. I am so proud of who Shannon is and who she's becoming. I have learned so much more about her past (the years we didn't talk all of the time) and her heart over these two years and will always treasure this season of life we had together. On my last day of work- make that the last couple weeks of work, we both cried a few times and reminisced on how much we've done together. Shannon has so much God-given talent it's almost ridiculous. She has a great memory, learns things really fast, and knows a lot about a lot of things. I am so happy to see her happy and I know that this year is going to be a really special one for Shannon. I'm getting really excited for her and Eddie's wedding this spring... Recycling Shannon's words pertaining to my last day at The Shed Shop, "It will be a day of celebration!"

An Amazing Day

This past Sunday- August 11th, 2008- was an amazing day. I got to see my dear friend, Shaya Kahali, get baptized. It was a bit surreal. I have been praying that Shaya would come to have a personal relationship with God since we were in high school. Shaya shared with the entire Crossroads service that she knows God has been pursuing her for all of these years, she believes that Jesus Christ died for her sins, and that she wants to have a relationship with God from now through eternity. While Shaya was sharing, I had one of those smiles that made my mouth feel like it was going to rip. Simultaneously, I had tears welling in my eyes and thought I was going to start bawling hysterically with overwhelming joy a few times.

When I got home after the baptisms on Sunday, I resurrected some of my old journals and found prayers for Shaya's life dating back to my early college days. God is truly incredible. He answers prayer. He uses the most unlikely situations and times to remind us of His faithfulness. After more than 10 years for praying for Shaya, I have seen God do awesome things in her life. Sunday was an amazing day-- one of the best days of my life.

Meet Mrs. Perdue

The time has come...I am going to be a teacher. I will really be Mrs. Perdue. I am still semi-crossing my fingers that I will get an internship (a.k.a. a paid job versus being some other teacher's indentured servant), although I am simply excited to get into the classroom. Right now, I'm slated to student teach 3rd grade at an elementary school in northern Fremont and then either Kindergarten or 1st grade at an elementary school in the Mission district of Fremont. After that, I'll have my credential and will be an official teacher in the beautiful State of California.

When I went to get my undergrad at UCSB, I had no idea what I wanted to do job-wise. For awhile, I thought I wanted to be an accountant and so I majored in Business Economics and Communication. I loved my time in college. I met amazing friends, and fell more in love with Jesus. I did not, however, figure out what job would suit me best. Jackson and I met right after college, and I knew immediately that my priorities were (1) God, (2) Jackson, and then (3) Job. I quit my crazy commute/work overtime-all-the-time job with the promise of high pay to keep those priorities true to real life. I have officially been working at The Shed Shop (5 minute commute, 8:30-5 not-so-much-overtime) for four years. I've learned a lot in the past four years. I will save my pearls of wisdom for a future post, but I will say now that I am so happy that I am able to enter the teaching world this fall. I love teaching. I have yet to be a classroom for a full semester (well, more than one day a week), but I know it's what I am supposed to do. Next to God and my wonderful family, I truly believe that I am meant to be a teacher. I love working with kids, I'm super organized, and love learning. I am even more ecstatic that Jackson is going to be a teacher, too. This year will be rough. One of us or both of us may not have a full time position (paid job). We'll both be finishing class work and jumping through the hoops of being the 'newbie' teacher. Regardless of how tough it will be, we both can now see light at the end of the tunnel. Summers together as a family... Janelle not working every Saturday... Doing something that we're passionate about and love... Being home earlier in the evening...Having a pretty good salary and retirement situation... On July 10, 2004 I became Mrs. Perdue. Now, I'll be hearing that title more often!

I get 16 more years!

I can't believe that Belle is going to be 2 years old this October (actually in exactly 2 months today). I can't. In the same breath, I can't remember not having Belle in my life. She is a treasure. She has brought more joy to Jackson's and my life than we can begin to convey. Today, Jackson emailed me an article with a simple warning stating, "Read this and you will cry". He was right. I did cry.

The article is written by a mother whose daughter has just gone to college. She talks about how she misses her daughter, things will never be the same, and that she has had the privilege to pray for, live with, and enjoy her daughter for the time that God granted (18 years in her case). After I shed my tears, I felt happy because I still have 16 years of wonderful experiences with my sweet baby girl. Also, I have 2 whole months until she's a 2 years old! Here's the article:
https://internetmonk.com/archive/58612

Revolutionary Parenting

We just ordered a new book that I just can't wait to read... "Revolutionary Parenting". I heard the author of this book, George Barna, on the radio yesterday and believe that this book will be a great help and encouragement to me as a parent. Jackson, too. When Belle (and any other little Perdues that become a part of our family) grows up, I want her to be a spiritual champion. I long for her to love Christ and give her entire life to him. George said something profound that will stick with me. He said, "Before anything, we as parents need to love our kids into the presence of God". As it should be, I am reminded that it doesn't matter how much academic content Belle knows (let me tell you, it's already a lot at a mere 22 months- she knows concepts such as 'almost', 'backwards', and 'careful'!), how talented she is (the girl has rhythm and athleticism already), or what she does (I've already envisioned Belle being a leader among leaders)... She needs Christ.

Happy New Year!

So, I haven't really blogged more (as mentioned as a goal in a previous post), but I'll try update more often this year. I can't believe it's a new year... 2008. Jackson's 10 year high school reunion is this summer (or spring- TBD), Belle will be 2 years old in fall, and we are planning to get pregnant towards the end of this year. My sister, Shannon, got engaged over Christmas and has a wedding date set for the end of February '09. I haven't really made any 'new year resolutions', but I do plan on shedding some pounds (I don't think I can attribute my weight to post partum with a 15 month old at this point... :-) ), getting away with Jackson more, saving more money, and most important- working with Jackson to build a Christ-centered family where we have time to both serve and relax together. Happy New Year! I'll blog soon...