Reflections and Revisions

2009 has been a FULL year for me and my family.
- I taught (for the first time) 3rd grade for half of a year
- Got pregnant
- Stood up for my sister Shannon in her wedding
- Obtained my masters
- Started attending and serving at a new church
- Taught at Ohlone for Kids for the summer
- Celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary
- Joined MOPS-- a wonderful decision that has been blessing me in this stage of motherhood
- Had a beautiful, healthy girl
- Got the privilege of staying home with both of my girls for the last quarter of this year

Here are the questions that I want to answer and pose for 2009 and 2010, respectively:

Did I fall more in love with Jesus?
Did I love Jackson well?
Am I loving my daughters into the arms of Christ?
Have I taken care of what has been entrusted to me?

I believe that I love Jesus more than I did at the beginning of 2009. I pray that I will know Him, love Him, and serve Him more than I did this year in 2010. I loved Jackson well. We have grown by leaps and bounds in our communication and loving of one another. I am doing my best to show Belle and Juliette an authentic pursuit of God, although I could do more and do better. I believe that I try, but can try harder with taking care of my body, those that need Jesus around me, my finances, my time and energy, and all that God has given to me. Let's go 2010!

Thankful

Thanksgiving came and went and I didn't get a chance to write all that I'm thankful for... I could write a list a mile long, but I'll keep it to the top 5:
1. Jesus Christ- I am forever grateful that He saved me. For eternity, and also from living a life of self focus and emptiness.
2. Jackson Perdue- Jackson encourages me and loves me like no other man ever has or will. I love him and am better because of him.
3. My gorgeous daughters- I literally thank God every day if not multiple times a day for the gift of Belle and Juliette. They make my life more rich than I can imagine and fill my heart with an inexpressible joy.
4. Friends- God has blessed me with awesome friends. There is one friend in particular that God has used to fill me to overflowing. Lindsey Clark. Ever since we met, God has used Lindsey to sharpen me, encourage me, and fill my heart with happiness. Specifically, in this rough season Lindsey has helped Orkin miraculously get out to kill the fleas (she called Orkin while she was in a hotel room in Ohio because she saw Jackson put a message on Facebook and got Orkin to come out earlier than they told Jackson they could come out), she has sent me super encouraging emails, and just today she had Safeway deliver some fresh produce, antibacterial wipes, rice cakes, and other groceries that made me feel so blessed.
5. Family- I'm so grateful for the family that God gave me. In laws included!

So glad

It's been a rough couple of months. There's been a lot of things going on, especially illnesses in my immediate and extended family. Right now both of the girls have horrible diarrhea and little Juliette threw up last night. I haven't slept more than a few hours at a time since October 10th, almost two months. I knew that I'd be in a care taker role during this season, but I did not know how much care taking would be required. A few days ago I realized that in the past couple of weeks I've been doing things more out of my energy, not God's strength. It took a painful experience for me to remember- really remember- that I can't live a minute without God. My circumstances haven't changed much but I feel so glad in my heart right now. My mom texted me today, "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it". At the time I didn't feel so glad. I started the day, even after that wonderful reminder, trying to do things on my own. God gave me the gift of a phone call with Lindsey (my amazing friend that continually helps me with anything and everything and encourages me to keep running the race with God well). Then, I got another gift, the gift of time - both girls are napping at the same time which hasn't happened but maybe once since Baby J was born. I was able to spend a good amount of time reading my Bible, journaling, praying, and just being. This is the day... this is the day that the Lord has made. I'm going to be glad and rejoice in it.