Today's Lesson and Books I'm Reading

I read Psalm 91 today and was impressed by Moses' prayer. Verse 2 reads, "I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust'." This resonates with me. Is God my refuge? Meaning, do I go to Him for shelter when I need a place to rest? Is He my fortress? Do I let Him protect me and go to Him when I need protection? Do I trust Him?

Books I'm reading right now:

- The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman (thanks to a recommendation by Mandy)

- The New Strong Willed Child by James Dobson

I'm almost done with the Birth Order Book and will write some thoughts on the book very soon. I just started The New Strong Willed Child and must say-- I'm not so sure I have a strong willed child. Belle has a very strong will, make no mistake, but from what I've read so far, she does comply (eventually, but much sooner than some of the 'youngsters' Dobson describes). Belle has a BEAUTIFUL spirit, and while she is determined, I'm wondering if it's just typical 3 year-old gumption. Anyhow, I am enjoying both books. I want to read and learn as much as I can to help Belle and Juliette thrive and grow into the amazing ladies I know they both will be.

Tender Mercy for This Mom's Soul

Today, I shared about a book I've read (two times now) at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). The book, Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul by Angela Thomas Guffey, has had a profound impact in my spiritual journey and this current season of motherhood.

Why do I love this book?

The author, Angela Guffey, is honest, authentic, and down to earth. Also, she's a mom of four kids within 7 years. When I read that, I thought, "Okay, this lady knows what she's saying if she's taking care of a home, a hubby, AND four kids". She shares about her regret of not walking with Christ intimately for some years of her adult life, and reveals the triumph and blessing of being completely empty so that she can be filled by the only thing that can really fill our empty souls-- Jesus.

Some ideas that impressed me:

- We take "Little indulgences. Little attempts to feed the Spirit that hungers inside of each of us" (p. 30).

- Jesus is the only answer for your empty soul (p. 48).

- Where do I put my empty cup to be filled?

"... I absolutely refuse to settle for a shadowy version of the life God intended" (p. 26).

How have I changed from reading this book?

First, what I shared today with fellow MOPS Moms and what I know needs to be said is that this book is a great thing to read, but the most important thing to read is the Bible. This book points to that- God's Word is what can fill us up and meet our every need.

This book ignited my passion for Jesus, pursuing Him relentlessly, and not settling for an empty soul. Some of you may have read my post about the fleas and how I felt closer to God. Well, this book is what I read when I prayed, "God, do whatever it takes for me to thirst for you. Whatever it takes".

I'm really enjoying MOPS, and intend to read more books that will make me more like Jesus, a better wife, mom and person. Stay tuned.

WWLTD

Okay, so first and foremost I want to be like Jesus Christ. However, I recently saw the movie The Blind Side and LOVED it (thanks to my awesome husband I got to go to the movies yesterday for the first time in a long time). The story is moving and inspirational, but I was especially inspired by the character of Leigh Anne Tuohey. Before I went to see the movie, I saw an interview with Sandra Bullock who plays the real life character of Leigh Anne Tuohey and Ms. Bullock announced that she plans to strive to be more like Leigh Anne Tuohey. I initially thought that I'm sure this woman is great and generous, but wondered why exactly Sandra wanted to be more like the real life Leigh Anne.

Here's why-- well, at least why I want to be more like Leigh Anne:

- She's assertive
- She's proactive
- She's honest, brutally honest
- She takes care of herself

- She dreams big and has great expectations

I'm aware Leigh Anne has flaws just like the rest of us, but she's beautiful, vibrant, and gets the job done. She doesn't take no for an answer and while she cares about people, she doesn't care if she hurts someone's feelings so that the best can happen for their life. I am pretty proactive myself, but I don't take care of myself (physically especially) half the way Leigh Anne does, and I could definitely kick up assertiveness in my own life.

Reflections and Revisions

2009 has been a FULL year for me and my family.
- I taught (for the first time) 3rd grade for half of a year
- Got pregnant
- Stood up for my sister Shannon in her wedding
- Obtained my masters
- Started attending and serving at a new church
- Taught at Ohlone for Kids for the summer
- Celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary
- Joined MOPS-- a wonderful decision that has been blessing me in this stage of motherhood
- Had a beautiful, healthy girl
- Got the privilege of staying home with both of my girls for the last quarter of this year

Here are the questions that I want to answer and pose for 2009 and 2010, respectively:

Did I fall more in love with Jesus?
Did I love Jackson well?
Am I loving my daughters into the arms of Christ?
Have I taken care of what has been entrusted to me?

I believe that I love Jesus more than I did at the beginning of 2009. I pray that I will know Him, love Him, and serve Him more than I did this year in 2010. I loved Jackson well. We have grown by leaps and bounds in our communication and loving of one another. I am doing my best to show Belle and Juliette an authentic pursuit of God, although I could do more and do better. I believe that I try, but can try harder with taking care of my body, those that need Jesus around me, my finances, my time and energy, and all that God has given to me. Let's go 2010!

Thankful

Thanksgiving came and went and I didn't get a chance to write all that I'm thankful for... I could write a list a mile long, but I'll keep it to the top 5:
1. Jesus Christ- I am forever grateful that He saved me. For eternity, and also from living a life of self focus and emptiness.
2. Jackson Perdue- Jackson encourages me and loves me like no other man ever has or will. I love him and am better because of him.
3. My gorgeous daughters- I literally thank God every day if not multiple times a day for the gift of Belle and Juliette. They make my life more rich than I can imagine and fill my heart with an inexpressible joy.
4. Friends- God has blessed me with awesome friends. There is one friend in particular that God has used to fill me to overflowing. Lindsey Clark. Ever since we met, God has used Lindsey to sharpen me, encourage me, and fill my heart with happiness. Specifically, in this rough season Lindsey has helped Orkin miraculously get out to kill the fleas (she called Orkin while she was in a hotel room in Ohio because she saw Jackson put a message on Facebook and got Orkin to come out earlier than they told Jackson they could come out), she has sent me super encouraging emails, and just today she had Safeway deliver some fresh produce, antibacterial wipes, rice cakes, and other groceries that made me feel so blessed.
5. Family- I'm so grateful for the family that God gave me. In laws included!

So glad

It's been a rough couple of months. There's been a lot of things going on, especially illnesses in my immediate and extended family. Right now both of the girls have horrible diarrhea and little Juliette threw up last night. I haven't slept more than a few hours at a time since October 10th, almost two months. I knew that I'd be in a care taker role during this season, but I did not know how much care taking would be required. A few days ago I realized that in the past couple of weeks I've been doing things more out of my energy, not God's strength. It took a painful experience for me to remember- really remember- that I can't live a minute without God. My circumstances haven't changed much but I feel so glad in my heart right now. My mom texted me today, "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it". At the time I didn't feel so glad. I started the day, even after that wonderful reminder, trying to do things on my own. God gave me the gift of a phone call with Lindsey (my amazing friend that continually helps me with anything and everything and encourages me to keep running the race with God well). Then, I got another gift, the gift of time - both girls are napping at the same time which hasn't happened but maybe once since Baby J was born. I was able to spend a good amount of time reading my Bible, journaling, praying, and just being. This is the day... this is the day that the Lord has made. I'm going to be glad and rejoice in it.

His Grace

Things have been CRAZY at the Perdue household. We've had fleas (yes, they are still here and we had to quickly evacuate yesterday while the Orkin man came back to spray). If you know me, you know I really don't like things out of order, I don't prefer surprises, and I like to at least think that I have things under control. God has been stretching me in the midst of all that's going on this month. It's been rough, but it's an answer to my prayers. Before Juliette was born, I'd been praying that God would make me thirst for Him more than I ever have before and I specifically prayed, "Do whatever it takes". Well, God is using my circumstances to do just that.

Juliette is a wonderful baby, but like any newborn she is up a lot at night. During the days, Belle is adjusting to her new life with little sister and has tried to get attention by acting out and disobeying- A LOT. She has her good moments, but it's been exhausting... On top of just having a baby, I felt really weepy and sad for a good week after Baby J came. Albeit difficult, this really brought me into God's presence.

I had everything (and I really mean everything) organized before Belle's birthday and 6 days before Juliette's birth. I had redone all of the closet organization, the girls' room was perfectly set up, and our house seemed cleaner than it had ever been. The flea bombings/spraying has changed a lot of that. We've had help (thank you family!) getting things back together, but it's not how I had it or where I want it to be...

Okay, enough whining. This is about God's grace in my life... These past two weeks I've been praying so much more, feel closer to God, and have spent much more time in my Bible. There's no coincidence. I continually think of 2 Corinthians 12:9. It says, 'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.' I know that MANY people go through MUCH more difficult times, but this is my piece. Life's hard right now, but God is good. Along with my prayer to thirst for God every moment, I'm praying that I'll enjoy the here and now. I recently heard something that will stick with me. A friend told me regarding raising little ones that, "The days are long, but the years are short". It's hard to remember on a daily basis, but it's so true. I'm SO grateful God has blessed us with two healthy, beautiful daughters. The displayed pictures are from yesterday. Despite the chaos, Juliette is still thriving and precious. Belle enjoyed a trip to the pumpkin patch with her aunties while we were getting the house ready for the Orkin Man. His grace is sufficient for me.