The Birth Order Book

I really enjoyed reading The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are by Dr. Kevin Leman. I laughed out loud on more than one occasion and would elbow Jackson in bed and read various excerpts aloud. The book helped me understand more about my own personality, personalities of those close to me, and gave me some good ideas for parenting.

My Own Personality: I'm first-born (if you're reading this you most likely know me well and already know this). Dr. Leman states that generally, many first borns are "perfectionistic, reliable, conscientious, list maker(s), well organized, critical, serious, (and) scholarly" (p. 14). I've taken personality tests before and know that many of these traits are true of me, however, it was interesting to learn that first-born people are 'little adults' (as children) who often go on to become leaders and achievers in life. This list does describe me and it was fun to read that so many first born people have these traits. I really enjoyed reading Dr. Leman's tips for first-borns. Specifically, his recommendation to take smaller bites of life, work on saying no, and not to 'apologize for who you are'.

Personalities of Others: I thought a lot about my family as I read through these pages. I have a better understanding of my sisters, my parents, and even Jackson. I learned that while Jackson is a middle child, he's also a pseudo first-born because he is 7 years younger than his sister AND he's the first male. Interesting stuff.

Points for Parenting: Dr. Leman closes his book with some key points to remember about birth order. These can and will help me as I parent Belle and Juliette (and possibly others to come). Here are some of his key points (mostly in my own words) and some additional take-aways that I am thinking of:

1. Birth order is only an influence that contributes to how a child will turn out. There's a lot other influences that go into the equation.

2. The way that parents treat their kids is just as important as birth order. Parents should create environments that help children thrive.

3. Every birth order has strengths and weaknesses. Parents should help develop positive ones, and cope with negative ones.

4. No birth order is "better" (except the first-born of course, hehe). Seriously though, this brings up the point that most parents 'relate to' or 'identify' with their child that is their birth order. I want to be sure not to dote on Belle more than Juliette because of this.

5. We must spend a good amount of time with each child. Things don't have to be "fair" as far as being equal. However, it's a good idea to keep bed times, curfews, and certain rules consistent (i.e. When Belle was 7 her bedtime was 8 pm, so Juliette's will be the same).

6. The middle child often feels "squeezed". The baby of the family needs to not be "babied" too much. The oldest child shouldn't be considered a built in babysitter or have to shoulder what parents are to do. Basically, I should think about common complaints or issues of certain birth orders and be sensitive to those things.

I enjoyed this book and look forward to finishing The Strong Willed Child. P.S. I read further and Belle can be considered a strong willed child, I'm just so glad it's not worst case scenario...