Reflections and Revisions

2009 has been a FULL year for me and my family.
- I taught (for the first time) 3rd grade for half of a year
- Got pregnant
- Stood up for my sister Shannon in her wedding
- Obtained my masters
- Started attending and serving at a new church
- Taught at Ohlone for Kids for the summer
- Celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary
- Joined MOPS-- a wonderful decision that has been blessing me in this stage of motherhood
- Had a beautiful, healthy girl
- Got the privilege of staying home with both of my girls for the last quarter of this year

Here are the questions that I want to answer and pose for 2009 and 2010, respectively:

Did I fall more in love with Jesus?
Did I love Jackson well?
Am I loving my daughters into the arms of Christ?
Have I taken care of what has been entrusted to me?

I believe that I love Jesus more than I did at the beginning of 2009. I pray that I will know Him, love Him, and serve Him more than I did this year in 2010. I loved Jackson well. We have grown by leaps and bounds in our communication and loving of one another. I am doing my best to show Belle and Juliette an authentic pursuit of God, although I could do more and do better. I believe that I try, but can try harder with taking care of my body, those that need Jesus around me, my finances, my time and energy, and all that God has given to me. Let's go 2010!

Thankful

Thanksgiving came and went and I didn't get a chance to write all that I'm thankful for... I could write a list a mile long, but I'll keep it to the top 5:
1. Jesus Christ- I am forever grateful that He saved me. For eternity, and also from living a life of self focus and emptiness.
2. Jackson Perdue- Jackson encourages me and loves me like no other man ever has or will. I love him and am better because of him.
3. My gorgeous daughters- I literally thank God every day if not multiple times a day for the gift of Belle and Juliette. They make my life more rich than I can imagine and fill my heart with an inexpressible joy.
4. Friends- God has blessed me with awesome friends. There is one friend in particular that God has used to fill me to overflowing. Lindsey Clark. Ever since we met, God has used Lindsey to sharpen me, encourage me, and fill my heart with happiness. Specifically, in this rough season Lindsey has helped Orkin miraculously get out to kill the fleas (she called Orkin while she was in a hotel room in Ohio because she saw Jackson put a message on Facebook and got Orkin to come out earlier than they told Jackson they could come out), she has sent me super encouraging emails, and just today she had Safeway deliver some fresh produce, antibacterial wipes, rice cakes, and other groceries that made me feel so blessed.
5. Family- I'm so grateful for the family that God gave me. In laws included!

So glad

It's been a rough couple of months. There's been a lot of things going on, especially illnesses in my immediate and extended family. Right now both of the girls have horrible diarrhea and little Juliette threw up last night. I haven't slept more than a few hours at a time since October 10th, almost two months. I knew that I'd be in a care taker role during this season, but I did not know how much care taking would be required. A few days ago I realized that in the past couple of weeks I've been doing things more out of my energy, not God's strength. It took a painful experience for me to remember- really remember- that I can't live a minute without God. My circumstances haven't changed much but I feel so glad in my heart right now. My mom texted me today, "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it". At the time I didn't feel so glad. I started the day, even after that wonderful reminder, trying to do things on my own. God gave me the gift of a phone call with Lindsey (my amazing friend that continually helps me with anything and everything and encourages me to keep running the race with God well). Then, I got another gift, the gift of time - both girls are napping at the same time which hasn't happened but maybe once since Baby J was born. I was able to spend a good amount of time reading my Bible, journaling, praying, and just being. This is the day... this is the day that the Lord has made. I'm going to be glad and rejoice in it.

His Grace

Things have been CRAZY at the Perdue household. We've had fleas (yes, they are still here and we had to quickly evacuate yesterday while the Orkin man came back to spray). If you know me, you know I really don't like things out of order, I don't prefer surprises, and I like to at least think that I have things under control. God has been stretching me in the midst of all that's going on this month. It's been rough, but it's an answer to my prayers. Before Juliette was born, I'd been praying that God would make me thirst for Him more than I ever have before and I specifically prayed, "Do whatever it takes". Well, God is using my circumstances to do just that.

Juliette is a wonderful baby, but like any newborn she is up a lot at night. During the days, Belle is adjusting to her new life with little sister and has tried to get attention by acting out and disobeying- A LOT. She has her good moments, but it's been exhausting... On top of just having a baby, I felt really weepy and sad for a good week after Baby J came. Albeit difficult, this really brought me into God's presence.

I had everything (and I really mean everything) organized before Belle's birthday and 6 days before Juliette's birth. I had redone all of the closet organization, the girls' room was perfectly set up, and our house seemed cleaner than it had ever been. The flea bombings/spraying has changed a lot of that. We've had help (thank you family!) getting things back together, but it's not how I had it or where I want it to be...

Okay, enough whining. This is about God's grace in my life... These past two weeks I've been praying so much more, feel closer to God, and have spent much more time in my Bible. There's no coincidence. I continually think of 2 Corinthians 12:9. It says, 'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.' I know that MANY people go through MUCH more difficult times, but this is my piece. Life's hard right now, but God is good. Along with my prayer to thirst for God every moment, I'm praying that I'll enjoy the here and now. I recently heard something that will stick with me. A friend told me regarding raising little ones that, "The days are long, but the years are short". It's hard to remember on a daily basis, but it's so true. I'm SO grateful God has blessed us with two healthy, beautiful daughters. The displayed pictures are from yesterday. Despite the chaos, Juliette is still thriving and precious. Belle enjoyed a trip to the pumpkin patch with her aunties while we were getting the house ready for the Orkin Man. His grace is sufficient for me.

Ways to Make Your 37th Week of Pregnancy Whiz By

As many of you know, Belle was a week after the due date. Every day post September 28, 2006 felt like eternity and I truly got a little depressed each night I went to bed until October 4, 2006. I've been preparing myself that Juliette may come late. Due to various pains and prenatal issues I've been hoping that Juliette will come a little bit early. I'm telling myself it would make up for Belle being "late".

Babies are considered 'full-term' at week 37. While many people don't deliver at this time, I think most pregnant women think, "Great! The baby is ready and if I have the baby this week I won't have to be pregnant for another 3+ weeks..." That's what I thought with Belle, and the thought crossed my mind early last week. HOWEVER, I am praying to God that Juliette does not come right now for at least another week or two. Here are 3 ways to make the last weeks of your pregnancy whiz by:

1. Have a child with a birthday- Belle's birthday was this weekend. Enough said.
2. Have car trouble- Jackson noticed his brakes were making a metal on metal sound on Saturday. I had to take the car to the shop on Monday and was 'stranded' at my mom's place (with a big 'baby's coming- gotta get this done' list) from 8am until 5pm.
3. Have a flea infestation- I'm not joking. We got a glider rocking chair from someone and we're guessing at this point that it had flea eggs in the cushion. We had to bomb our house last night and I'm still cleaning dishes and clothes due to the gas residue as I type- well the dishwasher and washer/dryer are cleaning right now.

I'm tired, but I'm sort of keyed up because I feel like I have so much to do. Maybe I'm nesting... Anyhow, I have yet to pack and do the 'baby's coming- gotta get this done' list. It keeps getting shuffled out due to all these random things cropping up. It seems crazy to me that I'll be 38 weeks on Friday and the due date is approaching so quickly. That being said, let's hope Juliette doesn't make her appearance until week 39 at the earliest.

Happy Birthday Belle!

Well, almost. Belle is turning 3 tomorrow, October 4th (right around 3 am). It is so hard to believe that three years have passed, and yet it's even more difficult to remember life without Belle. She's a joy, a beauty, and a treasure. We had Belle's Ariel-themed third birthday party today at Grammy and Papa's place and it was a blast. There was pizza, a jumpy house, lots of generous gifts for Belle to open, and a pinata.

Belle's life is a celebration and I can not imagine our lives without her. She is truly a miracle and gift from God. Happy Birthday Princess!

Happy Birthday Jackson!

Jackson turned 29 today. I praise God for making such an amazing man of God, husband, daddy, and friend. This morning as I was getting up I thought of all of the birthdays that we've celebrated together (this birthday is the 7th birthday that I've been a part of), and all of the birthdays that will come. Jackson's life is a big deal to me and a lot of other people. He's awesome. I plan on coordinating something pretty big for his 30th in 2010. Happy Birthday to Jackson!

Our Budding Artist

Belle has loved drawing and doing crafts since before she could even talk. As an aside, I enjoy making crafts, although drawing has never been a forte for me. Yesterday, Jackson and I were talking and doing things to help him get ready (he's preaching at Crossroads this weekend) and Belle announced that she was drawing a picture for her Grammy on an envelope. She was laying on her tummy with her legs up and worked quietly for a good 10 minutes. When I checked on her and saw an actual drawing, I was positive that Jackson had drawn a smiley face in the center of the envelope and Belle was just adding strokes to the hair around the picture. Belle smiled and said, "This is Tati (Auntie) Kara". I asked Jackson and simultaneously showed him Belle's drawing and he said, "You drew that for her!" When we realized she drew it on her own, we praised her and were both pretty shocked. She isn't even 3 yet, neither of us are artists, and while she does a lot of crafts with me she doesn't draw every day... There's more!

After all of the parental praise, Belle said, "I'm going to do some more drawings..." She went back to work and after another 10 minutes she brought out the envelope and told a story for each character she had drawn. "Auntie Kara is in the middle; she's happy". "I'm there" (the little smiley face on the left). "Juliette is there and she has an owwie on her belly button and she's angry"- I had just told her yesterday that Juliette can't take a bath right away because she will have an owwie on her belly button for a little bit. When I asked her what the drawing above "Auntie Kara" was, she replied, "That's just a smiley face". Then she pointed at the smallest drawing above the picture of her and she said, "that's a pretend eye". I am often surprised by the things Belle says and already knows, but this drawing shocked both Jackson and I. This picture looks as good if not better than some of the first grade drawings that I collected in class last fall.

Stay At Home Mom

I am officially a stay at home mom. School hasn't started in some districts yet (which means there's a small, tiny chance I may be offered a teaching job), although Jackson and I have decided that regardless of a job offer I am going to stay home this year. I am SOOOO excited. God has overwhelmingly surpassed our expectations and hopes by giving Jackson a wonderful job. He's doing a stellar job and he loves it. The pay (not to mention awesome full family benefits that start next week) is enough to allow us to make it just fine living on his income alone. After graduating college, I was asked (a few months before I met Jackson) what I wanted to be and I immediately replied, "a wife and a stay at home mom". The desire to be in the home providing for my family has always been a strong pull in my heart. I've had to work for the past five years and I intend on working once it's doable as a teacher, but for now I am stoked to stay home. I know it's going to be a big job (bigger than I can even fathom I'm sure), but I'm gearing up and counting my blessings. In the past month I've been able to spend special time with Belle, maintain our home that way I've always wanted to (let's say the bedding is finally being washed consistently and dinner is ready for Jackson when he gets home), and spend time with dear friends (yea for Lindsey being in California). I know that my God is a big God and I have been experiencing his amazing provision in my life more than ever during this season. Ephesians 3:20-21 keeps coming to mind... I love this verse: Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Pregnancy Update

I'll be 7 months (28 weeks pregnant) this Friday. While a lot has happened and some days feel long, it seems like this pregnancy is whizzing by. I am so excited to hold Juliette Grace in my arms, but I am feeling pensive and reflective as her birth draws closer. Here are some of my thoughts:

- If Juliette decides to come on time, we only have a little more than 12 weeks with just the three of us in our home.
- I'm more scared of labor than I was with Belle (I guess because I know what to expect...)
- What will Juliette look like? On Friday, my doctor told me she's small (not unhealthy or anything). I told my doc that Belle was a week overdue and 6.5 pounds and my MD told me that Juliette will probably be a little baby too.
- I CAN'T believe that Belle is almost three. I remember the day she was born... (enjoy the picture above).

The Five

Jackson and I are going to celebrate our 5 year anniversary this Friday. Five years. I can definitely say that I love Jackson a billion times more (or a really really high number) than I did on our wedding day. He is awesome. Here are five reasons why I love Jackson Perdue:

1. He loves God and lives out his faith.
2. He makes me want to be a better person (Christ-follower, student, teacher, mom, citizen, etc.) because he's always striving to better himself.
3. He makes me laugh- a lot.
4. He's an incredible dad (his two daughters are two of the luckiest girls on this earth).
5. I love the way he loves me.

No More Teachers, No More Books!

Ok, well there may still be a teacher, but the teacher (with a Master's) will be me! Dah...Dah-Dah-Dah... Duh...Duh (this is supposed to resemble the Pomp and Circumstance tune). Today I finished my last class and now have a Master of Education Specializing in Best Practices. I am SO thankful to God for his blessings and provision in allowing me to further my education. I could not have done this without Jackson, my best friend and partner. He made a lot of sacrifices (praying for me, making dinner, watching Belle extra, cleaning the house, etc.) to help me earn this degree. I also couldn't have done this without my mom. My mom watched Belle for countless hours while we worked and completed hours upon hours of school work. I'm especially grateful for God's timing in that I finished this milestone before the birth of our second child. I have been in school while doing life for about two years. Now, I can just live life. Today is a day to celebrate!